I haven't posted a blog in ages. It's funny how some things can take the side lines so severely when surrounded by the various vagaries of life.
I'm working. Preparing for an audition. An audition that feels important to me. I mean, every audition is important, but this one seems to bare more weight than I anticipated. Perhaps that's simply due to its last minute addition to the mighty list of opportunities I have coming my way. Not sure.
It's just funny to me. I'm sitting here. Working on it. Working my way to the place I need to be to perform this monologue ably. To tell the story. My work specifically? I'm doing my damnedest to break my own heart. To find a point of palpable anguish to crawl from. It's so strange. I mean, this is just the audition. I haven't had an opportunity like this in ages. What's different? It's a tragedy. And I need it. I need the catharsis it provides. The process of burning myself down and crawling out of my own ashes. I've had plenty of opportunities to laugh and cavort on stage in recent memory. But to go to that darker place. That seat of despair. Mmmm....I think...at this moment...I feel that sensation super villains get when scheming after their fondest dreams. It's...exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. Like watching the sunrise after a lifetime of living in the dark.
And what's funnier still...is my contemplation on this: If this is where I'm going just for the audition...where will I go if I get the part?
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